it was Monday December 10, 2012. The surgery was scheduled for 3pm.
I took pictures of my breasts that morning. I printed out one of the pictures and I look at it from time to time. My breasts were stunning, perfect. I was blessed as they say. Definitely my best asset, my best body part. I was tall, blonde, with beautiful, perfect tatas.
At that time I was was so sad, actually devastated at the thought of a mastectomy. But I came to terms with the surgery and made the decision to move forward with it. I have never looked back. Six years later that day is a faded memory. I am just fine with how I look today. It’s who I am. I feel good! Thankfully I continue to be cancer free and have NO problems at all with my implant and reconstruction. Thank you Dr. Lisa Guerra and Dr. Tenley Lawton!
I’m flying out on Wednesday to Houston, TX. Going to visit a friend that I have known since we were 15 years old. Icing on the cake is that we are going to see the Lakers play the Rockets. I am going to wear a VERY tight shirt to celebrate my amazing reconstructed bosom along with my good health. I might even wear a tight RED shirt to support the Rockets red, but I will secretly be rooting for the Lakers!
If you had told me six years ago that I would be expressing these happy words I would have said you are crazy! Thus I share my happiness with you to show that there can be a great, happy, healthy life after a breast cancer diagnosis and after a mastectomy.
The worst five words I had ever heard, said to me on November 1, 2012. Worse for me than “you have breast cancer”. But here I am six years later and the entire experience seems like a blip on the radar. Sure as I write this, and I allow my thoughts and emotions to go back to to that dreadful, devastating day and time tears have welled in my eyes. I wouldn’t wish that news on anyone. But I can honestly say now I don’t really even think about it. Even daily when I look at myself while I am getting dressed or undressed, adjusting my bra, etc., I feel nothing…..no physical or emotional pain, no regrets, no sadness, no anger. I just look how I look. I am who I am.
Six years ago today I heard those devastating words.
Today I am in Boston for the purpose and sheer enjoyment of attending a Celtics game. Yes, I am a huge NBA fan. I flew all the way from California just to attend a game. Why? Because I can. Because fortunately for me six years later I continue to be cancer free and healthy. I feel great. I write this not with the intention of sounding flippant. I write this with the intent of sharing hope. That there can be light at the end of the tunnel. I guess in my own way, I have a happy ending.
Am I grateful I had cancer? No. I wish it had never happened. Am I happy I had my favorite body part amputated? No. I’d take my real breast back in a heartbeat. Cancer did not change my life for the better in anyway. I didn’t learn any lessons from it. I didn’t make any changes to my life because of it. I wish I had never had cancer and wish I never had to have a mastectomy. But cancer did happen and I did have a mastectomy. That’s my reality. And I choose to focus on the positive. I’m cancer free. I had fantastic surgeons. And I’m really happy I had the reconstruction that I did.
but December 10, 2012 was anything but. Literally at this time of day five years ago, I was in the pre-op room at Hoag hospital waiting to be wheeled into surgery to have my right breast removed. Hideous.
Dr. Lisa Guerra breast surgeon performed the mastectomy. Dr. Tenley Lawton plastic surgeon put in a tissue expander to prepare for breast reconstruction at a later date. An experience I wish I never had to experience. But I did.
Today five years later, it’s sunday and I am doing nothing. Literally. Why? Because I can. Fortunately I am healthy and cancer free giving me the choice to do what I want to do. I’m choosing to stay in, relax, watch TV, turn my brain off and do nothing.
I’m a lucky girl and I know it.
Devastating words I heard from my breast surgeon five years ago today. Due to my particular diagnosis, she said she would do a lumpectomy, but I would not look good, as well as she may not get clear margins. I’d be much better served with a single mastectomy followed by reconstruction she said.
She referred me to a plastic surgeon. After meeting with the plastic surgeon, against every fiber in my being and wailing nightly I went ahead and scheduled my surgery for December 10, 2012.